Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
