I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
