ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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