..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
