i jhust puked up my retainher.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize