Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
