I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
