so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
