i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
love makes seman taste better
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
