Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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