So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize