I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
