I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
