He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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