Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
