is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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