Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
