His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
