how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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