how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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