Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
