she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Randomize
