Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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