my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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