Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
