i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
