Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize