I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize