dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
