Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
