AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
