these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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