Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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