now i know why i became what i already was.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
