She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
