Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
