I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
