So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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