I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
