I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
