this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
