my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
