They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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