The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I will pee on everything he values.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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