OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
