I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
