im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
why do cheetos always look like penises
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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