My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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