dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
