I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
