Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
