how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
