did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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