She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
