He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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