Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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