You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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