it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
