he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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