like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
