wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
