I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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