her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
