he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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