he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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