Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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