is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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